Saying no

16 Jan 2021

I started back at work from the Christmas holidays two weeks ago. These two weeks have been absolutely chock-a-block full of life.

A short list of recent activities:

• Work has been extremely busy
• We got a kitten (named Wit)
• Claire started her first NZ job doing biosecurity work
• I bought a mountain bike and have ridden it in the Port Hills a few times already
• I prepared (most of) our residency application for Immigration NZ… the main form is 32 pages plus there are 23 (!) supporting documents as attachments
• I have coordinated with DOC and Backcountry Trust about doing volunteer hut maintenance in Lewis Pass
• I ran Goat Pass (30km mountain run) with a friend who is training for Coast to Coast

I planned to do all of these things in the first month or two of the year, not the first two weeks! I have had to rely on good planning / project management / organisational skills to survive.

When I am feeling overwhelmed, I typically thrash constantly between tasks under the delusion that I am “multi tasking” and therefore being more efficient. This is how I break the cycle:

• Stop whatever task I’m doing and take a moment to do nothing
• Get a sheet of paper and write down all the tasks I’m feeling overwhelmed by
• Prioritise them into the following groups:
  • things I’m doing today (be strict, this should be small and achievable)
  • things I’m doing this week
  • things I’m doing later
  • things I’m not doing (be tough, put things here if possible)
• Then I start work on the tasks for today

At that point, I usually find that I can focus on today’s tasks without distraction.

For the past two weeks, I have done this prioritisation exercise at the start of every day. It has been a desperate survival strategy and for the short term (a couple of weeks) it has worked well! Obviously, this workload is not sustainable for the long term, but it’s still good to have a coping mechanism to get through the busy patch.

My main realisation has been that there is huge power in saying “no” – be it “not today” or better yet “not ever”. It lets me reclaim my time, my energy, my attention, and my sense of calm.